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February 15 (Approximately) to June - Gate Guarding, TX or LA.

June, 2014 - Up to Alaska!

September - NOMADS Annual Meeting, Branson, MO



Wednesday, June 15, 2011

We let her go

Bridgeton,   NJ

My dear mother, Edythe Fowler, died shortly after noon today at age 86.

Len and I, as we have done each day for the last week, went to the hospital/rehab to visit with Mom.   We stopped in the hallway for talk to a friend of Mom's who is also a resident at the long term section of the facility where Mom had been since Saturday.     The contact person we met with two days ago regarding Hospice came up to us and told us the doctor whom we wanted to see was at the nurses station at the end of the hall.

We saw him there and walked in his direction, a distance of about 50 feet.  That quickly he was gone.  As we rounded the corner we heard and saw a commotion around Mom's room and heard someone say there was no heartbeat.     An aide stopped us and asked that we stay right there.  She got the doctor who took us into a private room.  He told us her heart had stopped and she was in full cardiac arrest.  He said if they brought her back she would be on life support.   He asked what we wanted done.

I called my brother who was having lunch two miles away.  My sister drives a school bus and could not answer the phone. 

By this time they were putting Mom in the ambulance to transport her to the hospital, which is the building right next door.    We followed the ambulance as my brother and wife pulled into the parking lot.   They took her out of the ambulance still performing CPR.   Once they got her in the ER, they came out and talked to Norm and I.  We were in agreement.   Stop all treatment.    Let her go.

She told me yesterday she wanted to die.   I told her I loved her and it was okay.   She said she was tired and loved us too.   

This is Mom last about a year and a half ago when we spent time with daughter Amy and her girls in Maryland.     Mom with Charlotte (being silly) and Abby.


That day was very special.   We had a "tea party" for us gals.

Amy came up from Maryland on Saturday and spent about two hours with her Grandmom.   Terri spent about three hours last night with her along with my brother.    We are so grateful we decided to return to NJ and arrived back a week ago.

14 comments:

Texas Yellow Rose said...

Phyllis, my love, thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time. My mom, too, elected hospice care, was tired and ready to move on to the next life and did so less than a week after entering hospice. I am so glad you have had time with you mom lately and I know those memories, plus all the others, will carry you through the coming days. I can only offer a cyberhug, but when we meet sometime on the road, I'll give you a warm sisterly hug in person. Peace and comfort to you and yours.

Sam&Donna Weibel said...

Oh Phyllis our hearts are heavy and our prayers are with you.Thank God you had the foresight to head to Jersey when you did, At least you got to spend a little more time with her before she passed. I was lucky like you and and a feeling and rushed home to Pa. when my Mom passed, I got two days with her I wouldn't have. I hope you & Len are okay. May be we will catch up with each other again soon. Your friends. Sam & Donna..

Jessica said...

Phyllis, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Len.

MargieAnne said...

Dear lovely Phyllis and Len.

What a blessing you have been to your mother. I'm so glad you were there.

My love reaches out across the ocean and land [[[hugs]]]

Sad times but lots of wonderful memories.

Love and Blessings

MargieAnne.

Karol said...

Phyllis, my heart goes out to you and your family. I am glad you were able to spend time with her. I too, had to make the decision about my father's care. After talking to his minister, we made the decision to take no drastic actions. The best case senario for him would be to be put in a nursing home and live like a vegetable. He asked me to take him home and let him die there. It is a very difficult think to do. You are in my thoughts and prayers. With love, Karol

Happytrails said...

Phyllis, please know Mike and I send our love and prayers to you and your family at this time. I am so glad you had this time to be with your mom and talk with her. That is so important. Embrace your memories and know she loved you dearly! God bless!

JOJO said...

Phyllis,
YOu are in my deepest thoughts at this time. I am glad you followed your heart and went home to be with her. When my dad was afraid to stay alone he opted to go home and I moved in with him. We spent almost 3 months together and I would not have traded that time for anything in the world. This month is 2 yrs and today I found an album of his surprise 90th birthday party we threw for him. It was just what I needed.
Love to you at this time.

Rick and Paulette said...

Phyllis...so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom, but glad that you were able to spend some time with her near the end. One thing's for sure, you made the right decision in going back to spend time with your Mom so you'll never have to worry about having regrets over that. Take care.

George said...

Linda and I send our most sincere condolences.

Bob and Linda Webster said...

Phyllis - You are in our prayers. So glad that you were able to be there and to tell her of your love and that it was okay to go.

Kathy and Robert said...

Robert and I send our sincere condolences.

Laurie and George said...

Phyllis & Len:

My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this time. So glad that God put you home to be there at that time. So sorry for your loss.

Donna K said...

I have missed reading some of your posts and am so sorry to hear of your mom's passing. Please accept my (belated) condolences.

Phyllis said...

Sorry I missed this post until today, please accept my heartfelt sympathy on the passing of your mother.